Monday, April 10, 2017

CHANGE



A lot has changed since the past 2 years. Weakness became strength. Tears into laughter. Enemies became friends. And dreams became present.




I used to post mostly about clothes and stuffs that I loved. But then I realize that there is much more to life and more worthy to share. Life is never easy and it never will be. My start of 2017 was a tough one and my 2016 was wonderful. Then I realize that something so beautiful cannot be permanent. That sometimes things cannot be constant. And the only constant thing in this world is change. Change that will help us to be more stronger, wiser and braver. To take chances and be mindful of everything around us.

I am so passionate with the things I dear. I spent time and money just to post something here. But it all change one day.

So let me tell you a story.

One day I fell in love with someone who I never thought will like me back. It might be a common story. It was wonderful, amazing and thrilling. I can say for a time being he always have my back. He is always always there whenever I need someone or sometimes even if I don't need anyone. I was so thankful for him. The late night dinner, unhealthy meals (yes, burger, pizza, spicy wings,fries, shakes and a lot of carbs), late night walk around 1-2AM. It was so wonderful that I put aside everything. And when I say everything it means canceled plans with my friends, him before my family (which is so so so stupid of me), him before my passion (yes, I stopped painting), and mostly him before my schedule at work. I was so focused being in love that I even skipped for a year in our Sunday service. I thought for a moment that life is there. That everything will never go wrong because as I see, he was the right one. The guy who is for me. The guy who will be worth it.

But I'm wrong,

When trials happened and environment changes. I never thought he will change. The promises, the trust..... the love. (If there is any in the first place). I thought life is that simple and easy. That when you stay faithful and loyal everything else follows. But life will never be that way. Not for the wrong one. I thought it only applies in the movie. I never thought that I will be able to use the lines of Maja Salvador in the movie One More Chance saying "Mahal mo ba ako?, Mahal mo ba sya?". But that is life. You can never have what is destroying you at the same time.

Feeling that heartbreak changes my perception in life. It changes my idea and opinion of things and people and showed me how sometimes people can be so heartless, mean, selfish and arrogant. And somehow it changes how I deal with decisions. And with everything that happened I take it as a blessing. Blessing from which I run to Him. I cried to Him. And I trust Him for mending what He let me borrowed. And I believe that He let me break for me to see how He can only mend it. How He can only complete not only me but everyone. That only in Him we can find true love.

So to the one who shattered me. Who keeps my hopes high above the clouds. The one who I accepted for everything he is. I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for the lessons, strength and teaching me not to be so stupid to believe things I wanna believe. And GOOD BYE. Good bye to your lies, and make believe tears and stories. Good bye to the person I thought you were. And lastly good bye to the feelings I once have for you.

To everyone, don't be afraid to fall in love. He may be the right or wrong one but I assure you at the end you will learn. And this learning hopefully will pull you closer to God if you are not yet in that point. And you will be wiser and stronger than ever. So give out that smile and God will be the one to give you the right one.

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